After many, many years in this and several other online forums, one does indeed becomes exasperated with vague requests. And more so when one attempts to provide an answer, the OP will come back with another set of conflicting requirements which were not originally outlined.
Therefore, I fully understand Klaus' dry humor.
When I see such a request, more so if it comes from a first time poster, I hold on the comments although I revisit the thread to see how all went down.