I think your problem is bit more complicated that what you are seeing see....Electronic Circuits generally operates at lower voltage rating ( expect power electronics ) ....And in building automation project that you are saying have high voltage control ( i think 220 or 110 V ) by switch.....If you want to replace the switches using electroic circuit and control them is very complicated as you need to have that many control lines and switching devices in coupling with your buliding switchs.....there is very nice electrical wireing problem ....I think you meight be knowing is called as stair-case wireing , where people have need a control of making light of stair-case to be on from two position ( start of stair case and end of stair case )....so they come up with s solution of two way switches......I think one of that switch can be made using Electroincs devices like realy or Power MOSFET and Opto-coupler....may workout for you.....If you want I can send you the stair-case wireing diagram....to have some more idea....
Good Luck