Our problem is getting a remote controller or infrared controller to send a signal to a switch to turn on/off the lights in the room. We are not sure about the relay we require to do so, but know it should handle 110V. The device we will be using to power this relay runs off of 5V.
Check this link to interface relay to any controller using this you can interface a 5v relay to your selected controller.
for remote interfacing you can use a remote with RC5 protocol decode the received signal and then take necessary action.