220v relay
Here is the solution 4 your problem:
The moment of "closing" and "openning" of the relay switch MUST be sincronized with zero crosing of the 220 AC Voltage!!!.
For example, if U switch ON the relay, when phase angle is 90 degree, a huge amont of curent will go into your relay causing a huge Electromagnetic Interference (EMI) with your circuits. This can also damage your trafo
Also if U switch OFF the relay, for example, when phase angle is 90 degree, the huge curent will be sudenly interupted.
From the Lentz low folow that a huge voltage wil be induced in your Trafo ,caled Back-ElectroMagnethic Field (Back-EMF), wich can damage your circuit!!!
A simple solution to block the Back-EMF is to use a DIODE in paralel with your trafo.
But again, if your Trafo has a big power (and it has, since you are driving a motor), the corect solution is to sincronize the ON and OFF time of the relay with the zero crossing of the 220 AC voltage!!!