Help please? IC control of multi-relay, discrete resisitor audio volume control

Anyone able to help? The aim is an audio volume control composed of 40 separate relay-operated L-pad attenuators per stereo channel. Over-all (human) control is via an IR remote or the amplifier touch control screen; there is no mechanical control as such - no "knob". Why do this? Pure resistor networks sound sonically far superior in a high-end stereo than even the best motorised Alps pot, and a universe better than a solid state pot. The relay and resistor networks are not a problem, nor are the remote control and touch screen circuits; my design friend and I know how to do these. But the successive control of the relays is a problem. Microprocessor? Or a circuit like this ---http://www.technologystudent.com/elec1/count1.htm --- using a 555 timer and 4017B ? The need (and the problem) is: the control circuit has to move up/ down through positions 0-39 providing successive pin outputs. Each of these switches on a separate relay, thus giving an incremental or decremental attenuation according to the volume "up" or "down" direction. Around a 20 second period (adjustable via RC network?) is needed to scan the array of relays (i.e going from max. to min. or vice versa), and the system needs to store the "position" when switched off, so the currently selected relay stays on. And when the control system is switched on again - either to adjust the volume up or down - it needs to "know" which the currently selected position is to pick up from. Hope that's explained OK. Anyone know how best to design the control circuit? Just some rough guidelines and/ or a pointer to the best ICs or m/processor would be fantastic. Thanks.

The 4017B outputs could not directly drive a relay, you would need a relay driver after the 4017.

You could use the Allegro A6833.
It is a 32-Bit Serial Input with Latched Sink Drivers that could directly drive your relays.
This could be controlled by a small 8-bit Pic micro that has onboard eeprom for storing last volume state.

The A6833 can drive 32 relays.
40 relays per channel sound excessive.

With 10 relays and the correct resistor values, switching them in binary steps, you could have 1025 volume steps.

I agree with btbass that 10 relays should be sufficient for you purposes if the resistor values have the proper binary sequence. You likely want to arrange them to give a quasi-logarithmic sequence similar to a log volume pot since that better matches the ear's perception of loudness.